Feeling super SHAGGED now! Told Yufen that i won't be going for service tomorrow. Actually, i didn't want to go for today's service. But it felt like i didn't have a choice. Oh well. Barely spoke anything today. Guess i just wanted to isolate myself. Praise and worship i also barely sang. Pray also never close eyes. I know it was a horrible attitude. I really don't know where my heart is now. And it feels like i'm just living for the sake of living. Actually, i guessed the past week a lot of things happened. Just feel very abandoned and alone. The feeling is scary. I feel lost and empty. Had so much trouble sleeping at night. I didn't know who i could talk to. Cause i know whoever i SMS, i won't recieve a reply. And i struggled to sleep. I just wish that there was someone here. But there is no one. The whole week was filled with lonliness. I laid on my bed crying myself to sleep. Because i didn't know who to look for. I really don't know. I feel that i'm too available and people so often make use of me. I really don't mind. But the only time i hear from them is when they've got a favor to ask. And many times i wish that they will be the ones i can look for. But they're not there. My mind is really spinning now. I really feel lost. And.. I can't describe this feeling.