Visions from God.

I've been receiving visions from God lately or should i say since yesterday.

Yesterday, i went for prayer meeting. Once again, i felt extremely tired. My spirit was willing to go but my flesh was really weak. I knew that i needed to God because i know i would fall back if i do not crucify my flesh. And once again, i never regret going. The moment we started to worship, i began to tear. Although the song was in Chinese, i tried my best to sing. The presence of the Holy Spirit was embracing me. And i received a vision from God. And it goes like this. In a sailing competition, the wind and the waves can be strong and it can cause the boat to sail towards a different direction. Or sometimes, the boat can even turn over. But the thing that will keep the sailor afloat is the life jacket that the sailor is wearing. Many times on life encounter obstacles and like a sailor, we fall into the sea. But we should despise the life jacket. In life, our life jacket is God. He saved and will always save us from every storm we're in. A sailor can climb back into his boat and continue in the race. He may not come in first. But he will reach his final destination if he doesn't give up. Just like us, if we do not give up, if we are willing to pick ourselves up, we can get to our destination, we can finish our race well. And that itself is already a great achievement! I was deeply encouraged by the Holy Spirit. I was feeling down by the things happening around me. In fact, i was really discouraged by the lack of progress in certain things that i want to do. But after the vision i had and after the prayer meeting, i felt an exceeding joy stirring inside of me. I just have to release that joy. While walking to the bus stop, i was behaving and a crazy person. But it felt so good to me.

Today, i forced myself out of bed to reach Yufen's house early to do prayer walk with her around McPherson Secondary. During the Cell Group meeting while we began to worship the Lord, i had another vision. I saw Abraham and Issac going up the hill. Abraham was preparing an altar before God to offer up Issac. And at that moment, i felt in my heart that every single one of us including myself has to lay down what is most precious to us. Issac was very precious to Abraham. Yet, Abraham was willing to lay him down for God because he loves God. I want my love for God to be so strong to the extent where I'm willing to lay down the most precious thing in my life. God laid down His precious by sending His beloved son, Jesus, to die on the cross for the people the loves. I believe that everyone of us can lay down our lives for Him as well.

Feeling Very Shagged!!

It hasn't been easy for me. Although i've got no school and all. I'm still doing a lot of things. And now, i'm feeling extremely tired.

Anyway, i went for a leadership camp in Punggol Primary School on Monday and Wednesay. On Monday, i woke up at 5.30am. It's been so so long since i last woke up at this kind of timing. Got ready and met Audrey to take a cab down. First day at the camp and i was already feeling tired. Lynn and i almost fell asleep during a talk. But we pulled through. During the workshop session, i got a call from work and they said i'm needed at work the next day which i was suppose to stay over and help out in the camp. I was furious! I was on the verge of scolding the accountant. I let Pauline know and took off after the kids were asked to go and sleep. Went to work on Tuesday and i was still frustrated. So, i told the bosses that this week will be my last week of work. I don't want to work anymore. I can't stand doing things last minute or being informed of things last minute. It makes me mad! They were shocked but i didn't care. Oh well.. On Wednesday, i woke up early again and took a cab down to the school for the last day of the camp. And guess what, my team won FIRST! So proud of them.. The kids made the trainers feel like a star. They ran after us for our autographs. They were really fantastic. I already miss some of my team people. But anyway, many of the kids got my MSN. So.. Can still contact them. Let me show you some of my favourite kids.

He's my favourite, Kryan..!!

That's my team student leader, Yan Bo and Adli from another team. Love them too!

After the camp, took a cab home again. Man... I've been spending a lot on cabs. Managed to catch a nap when i got home. Was about to leave the house and my mum came home. Started yelling at me for no reason. Well, once again, she said things that really broke my heart. Eventhough i'm used to them, each time she uses those words, they still hurt me. I left my house in tears. I honestly felt very lost in my life. As i walked over to TP to meet Jo, many thoughts flooded my mind. I teared on the bus as well. Reached Orchard but my mood wasn't very good still. Throughout the whole night, i seriously felt very down. I really tried my best to hide it. But when i got home, i was once again in tears. My eyes began to swell.

I'm really tired after a long week and tomorrow i still have to work. But praise God it's my last day! But now, i feel extremely shagged. God, strengthen me..!!

One touch and it's enough.

I can't begin to explain how amazing today was for me. Well, let me talk about Saturday first.

Had Cell Group meeting at Yufen's house. Anyway, after the meeting, Joanne and me didn't know where to go so we just stayed at Yufen's house to watch show again. I was so tired that i fell asleep on the sofa. I don't know why i often fall asleep on the sofa. It's just so comfortable and nice to sleep on. So anyway, i had a dream- a nightmare actually. Fear and shame just overwhelmed me. And the show that we're watching began to make me feel really scared. I was extremely traumatized by that dream. I couldn't take it anymore so i SMSed Yufen eventhough she was just sitting in front of me. She brought me into the room and she started to pray for me. Tears began to flow from my eyes. I was deeply hurt in my heart. I never thought this nightmare would come back to me again. I didn't even remember it until i dreamt of it again.

Service today was fantastic! Prayer meeting was simply amazing! I can't find the words to describe how i feel towards the prayer meeting. The presence of God was so strong and i fell under the power of the Holy Spirit and broke out into holy laughter. I began to experience and exceeding joy within. Throughout the whole prayer meeting, Pastor Meng was teaching us how to pray and all that. Things that we can do during our own quiet time. Anyway, i am now officially in his fan club!!! Now i can understand why Yufen keeps talking about him. So anyway, after he dismissed us, the presence of God was still so strong in the hall. I was about to break into tears and when i asked Jo if she had tissue, she said she wants to pray for me. And shortly, Yufen joined in. I couldn't control my tears anymore and it just rushed down my cheeks. I feel so free now!! The nightmare i had in Yufen's house no longer and a hold on me. I pray that God will use this area of brokeness to be a blessing to people in future.

Special Thanks:
1. Jesus- Thank You for saving me. I cannot imagine what my life would be without you. You never fail to make feel so precious to You. Eventhough life isn't a bed of roses, You still make it worth living for. I never want to live one day without You. Jesus, i love You.
2. Yufen- Where can i begin to thank you?! Thank you for always being her for me when i needed someone. My life was never the same the moment you walked right in. Your love has touched me deeply. Thank you for your love towards me. I love you!
3. Joanne- I really thank God that after so many years, we're still friends. Thank you for being so sensitive to the Holy Spirit to pray for me today. You've made a difference in my life. I love you.

The Joy Of The Lord Is My Strength

It has been tiring for me so far this week. Although i got no school or what so ever, but work is enough to drain me. Anyway, it was an amazing night.

Went for prayer meeting at Suntec today. At first, i didn't want to go cause i was really feeling very exhuasted. My flesh was very very weak but my spirit was willing. I told myself that i have got to crucify my flesh. And so, i did! I don't regret it. The moment we started to worship, i began to cry. I could barely sing. Tears just rushed down my cheeks. I poured out everything that was in my heart in God's presence. At that very moment, i got a vision from God. I saw God's hand on my shoulder. It felt so real and actually literally felt His hand on my shoulder right there and then. And i was reminded that God's hand is always available for us to run into. That's where we can find comfort, peace, love, acceptance, shelter and strength. As we began to pray, i recevied a vision from God and some revelations that i shouldn't despise.

1. Provision
When God has given us a vision, He will also provide for that vision. That's why it's called 'PRO-VISION'.

2. Unity
1 Cor 1:10 " Now I plead with you, brethren, by the name of out Lord Jesus Christ, that you all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment." I was reading this verse before i went for prayer meeting and during prayer meeting while praying for the cell group, this verse came into my mind again.

3. Evangelism
Sacrifise-in our time, finances and energy

Outreach- I always remember what Irene said. She said that she never liked this word outreach cause it's like a one day or one weekend event. And all the time, we always pray that all of us will make evangelism our lifestyle. So outreach is and everyday thing!

Winning the lost- After attracting these people to us, we already won half the battle. And when we bring them to church, the battle is almost won. But the only way that they will receive their salvation is when God moves. As long as we do our part to bring them, God will do what we cannot and that is to open their heart to the gospel.

Hard day

Today wasn't a fantastic day. It was really tough. Was pretty troubled when i reached work today cause something happened last night which scared me. It also caused some past memories or should i say nightmare to haunt me again. Anyway, i broke down today at work. Sue called and i was about to cry. So i told her i'd talked to her again and after we hung up, she called again to ask if i was okay. I was about to break into tears over the phone before we hung up. So, anyway, she called back and tears immediately streamed down my eyes. The rest of the time was harsh on my emotions. I was really tired. I was distracted too. By throughout the day, i was reading the book called The Heavenly Man. I was so encouraged, inspired and convicted. And as i reflect on my my life the past close to 5 years. I experience one thing and that is God is always faithful. Thank You, Jesus. I LOVE YOU!

My Vision

Had and awesome time in the presence of God today. Pastor Tan preached on praying for the lost. Wow..! It was truely a word in season. At the end of the service, as i closed my eyes, God gave me a vision. I saw a huge wave. And as i began to share with Wenbin my vision after the service, i began to receive a revelation. The wave i saw represents revival. Many people are willing to playing with small waves. But not all will want to ride on this wave of revival. And as i was sharing, at the same time, i saw myself and my connect group riding on this wave of revival. It's not a small wave but a huge on. This means that there may be dangers, it takes a lot of risk. And the only lifeguard that can save us when we fall is prayer and fasting. But only those who are bold and are willing to lay down their lives will obtain their prize. Ever since Suzy told me that the both us will be working on Macpherson Secondary, i felt a burden for that school eventhough i wasn't from there. But everyday, all i can think about now is Macpherson Secondary. I believe that a new wave of revival will sweep through the entire school. I'm so excited to get started. Suzy and i will be meeting some of them for breakfast tomorrow. It's a good start. We all should have a common vision for the school. And i know that as long as we are focus on our vision, it will definitely come to pass.

I can't begin to imagine how tiring the week is going to be. But i'm excited to see what God is going to do in my life. Really will be needing His strength this week.

A Walk Of Faith

I was just reading my Bible. And i came across this few verses. Phil 3:12-14 "Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." When I read these few verses, i told God that i don't want to hold on to my past regrets. I will always remember one thing that Charmaine told me and that is i can't change my past, but I can change my now. And these verses reminded me not to look back. In some shows that we've watched, especially those which involves a race, usually when the runner turns to look back on how far apart is from his competitors, he will fall and eventually loses the race. He could have won the prize he deserved to achieve. I want to be a runner pressing on to my prize. A runner would face muscle cramps or injury during his training or even fall in a race. But it's not the result that matters but the attitude throughout the race which matters. I never want to give up even when i fall. I want to press on toward the prize that is set before me.

It has been a tough week. Mentally and emotionally drained. But thank God for His Word. It truely brings enouragement and comfort. Anyway, i worked 2 days this week. So pathetic. There's a new full-timer now. So i won't be able to work as much as i used to. But i guess i could take a short break and re-focus on other areas of my life, like my studies!! And I think i'll go searching for another job soon. Maybe in TOPSHOP? Don't really want to do sales anymore actually. Very tiring. Haha. And when i'm tired, i can't work well. I can't even remember what i did the past few days. Let me recall... Oh! On Thursday, i went to my grandmother's house. And she forced money into my hands. My grandfather almost did the same thing but i ran away. Don't want to take money from them as they're not working already. Feel so bad whenever they give me money. So had dinner there as well. The food was GOOD! Anyway, I was so bored after dinner, so i left after awhile. Came back to Tampines to check what's the prob;em with my EZ Link card and realised it has already expired. I was too lazy to queue to get my refund so i just bought a new adult card. The design so "orh-bit". Want to get a sticker and paste over it. After that, went to meet Weizhi. Had a great time. Yongle joined us later in the night. Great guys! Reached home at 1am plus. And then did my things and realised it was already 4 in the morning. I quickly went to bed cause my parents were already awakening. Haha. Got up pretty early today. Went to give BS in the afternoon and then walked around with Angel and Leann. Met Jo after that too. Went down to Marina Square and we bumped into our Tampines buddy, Jasmine! Had dinner with Hexing too. Got a call from Yufen and then Jo and me flew back to Tampines when we weren't even in Marina Square for an hour!! Solid, right? Celebrated Weiren's birthday. Went Starbucks with Jo after Yufen and Weiren went back. Wallet got a BIG hole now. Hole will be closed when my pay comes in. And so, here i am now.

Got to go rest now before my parents wake up. I can already hear my dad outside!!