Friday, April 25, 2008
Stressful
It's been rather stressful for me. Although i've got no school, i've other sorces of stress as well. And i guess i haven't been able to manage them well. Because of that, my chest pains has returned. I don't know how to put everything into words. But my heart is in pain.Well, anyway, i guess the rest of the week is going to be ok. Just that i've got to go to work and face the challenge to not yell at the auntie. Guess i won't be eating until i get my pay. No money left. It's ok, i suppose i can lose some weight in this case. Alright, it's late. Need to catch some sleep now..
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Drunk In God's Presence
Today(Friday) has been one of the most amazing days of my life. Although it was really tiring for me, it was on the other hand very fruitful.
Woke up early to go Singapore Poly to meet Abigail. Had a great time chatting and taking photos. Haha. Eventhough it was a sacrifise of my sleep and finances, it was worth it. So at around 1 plus, i headed down to City Hall to get the birthday gift for some of the members. Had a hard time choosing. In the end, i bought a pair of slippers and a wallet from TOPMAN. Overshot budget. Oops! Really cant help it. So after getting the presents from Marina Square, i walked over to Funan. Waited for Angel there for an hour to give BS. But it was awesome as well. It was more of sharing rather than preaching. I was also reminded of my first love for Jesus. I can't imagine my life without Him now. I'll be living a horrible life. (Thank You Jesus for saving me. I love You!). After BS, wen back down to City Hall MRT control to meet the rest of the Cell Group members. As usual, we went to Marina Square foodcourt to eat. It was a great time of fellowship.
After dinner, it was time for Prayer Meeting. I can't begin to explain how awesome it was. We were supposed to pray right? Haha. The flow of the Holy Spirit was different. In the end, we were worshipping and just edifying each other. We were all on our knees crying and crying. The love of God was so strong in the room. It's been so long since i really got myself soaked into the presence of God and cried in this manner. But it was simply amazing. This song touched my heart and i kept crying whenever we sang it.
O Lord Your Tenderness
Melting All My Bitterness
O Lord I Receive Your Love
O Lord Your Loveliness
Changing My Unworthiness
O Lord I receive Your Love
O Lord I receive Your Love
O Lord I Receive Your Love
After it was over, Jo, Hexing and i broke out into "Holy laughter". Non-stop! And it's also been such a long time since i last laughed like that. I felt an overwhelming joy. I felt "retartedly happy". How i wish you were there to experience what we experience. Really, one moment in God's presence is better than anywhere else. Time passed so fast. Close to 2 hours gone by just by us worshipping and singing. I'm so blessed. I was reminded of a quiet time i did some time back. I asked God how can He ever use someone like me, imperfect, not talented, no brains, can talk, a failure. And how can i do something great for Him when the ones who i love calls me, "good for nothing" and "useless". And God told me that He'll make full use of me. All i knew as that i am willing to be used. I know now that through me, the people around me can see that God is real, and in my weaknesses, He is strong. Tonight is one of the nights that i will never forget. I didn't want to stop. I just wanted to stay right there. It's so addictive!
I can't wait for Cell Group meeting now! It's just 12 hours away! I believe it's going to be another awesome time soaking in God's presence!
Woke up early to go Singapore Poly to meet Abigail. Had a great time chatting and taking photos. Haha. Eventhough it was a sacrifise of my sleep and finances, it was worth it. So at around 1 plus, i headed down to City Hall to get the birthday gift for some of the members. Had a hard time choosing. In the end, i bought a pair of slippers and a wallet from TOPMAN. Overshot budget. Oops! Really cant help it. So after getting the presents from Marina Square, i walked over to Funan. Waited for Angel there for an hour to give BS. But it was awesome as well. It was more of sharing rather than preaching. I was also reminded of my first love for Jesus. I can't imagine my life without Him now. I'll be living a horrible life. (Thank You Jesus for saving me. I love You!). After BS, wen back down to City Hall MRT control to meet the rest of the Cell Group members. As usual, we went to Marina Square foodcourt to eat. It was a great time of fellowship.
After dinner, it was time for Prayer Meeting. I can't begin to explain how awesome it was. We were supposed to pray right? Haha. The flow of the Holy Spirit was different. In the end, we were worshipping and just edifying each other. We were all on our knees crying and crying. The love of God was so strong in the room. It's been so long since i really got myself soaked into the presence of God and cried in this manner. But it was simply amazing. This song touched my heart and i kept crying whenever we sang it.
O Lord Your Tenderness
Melting All My Bitterness
O Lord I Receive Your Love
O Lord Your Loveliness
Changing My Unworthiness
O Lord I receive Your Love
O Lord I receive Your Love
O Lord I Receive Your Love
After it was over, Jo, Hexing and i broke out into "Holy laughter". Non-stop! And it's also been such a long time since i last laughed like that. I felt an overwhelming joy. I felt "retartedly happy". How i wish you were there to experience what we experience. Really, one moment in God's presence is better than anywhere else. Time passed so fast. Close to 2 hours gone by just by us worshipping and singing. I'm so blessed. I was reminded of a quiet time i did some time back. I asked God how can He ever use someone like me, imperfect, not talented, no brains, can talk, a failure. And how can i do something great for Him when the ones who i love calls me, "good for nothing" and "useless". And God told me that He'll make full use of me. All i knew as that i am willing to be used. I know now that through me, the people around me can see that God is real, and in my weaknesses, He is strong. Tonight is one of the nights that i will never forget. I didn't want to stop. I just wanted to stay right there. It's so addictive!
I can't wait for Cell Group meeting now! It's just 12 hours away! I believe it's going to be another awesome time soaking in God's presence!
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Stress @ Work
It hasn't been easy for me this week so far. But i really want to thank God for carrying me through so far. Really thank God for His strength and grace.
I almost went "crazy" at work on Monday. The auntie i'm working with is drving me insant! I felt like putting my head throught the wall! But really thank God i did not explode in front of her. I was having an inner explosion! Anyway, you think that's bad? Something even worse happened. There was something wrong with the NETS machine and in the end my costomer did not pay a cent for the dress she bought i now i have to pay $50 for her. Am i generous or what? Gosh! $50 gone just like that (snap!). Heart very pain.
Yesterday, was suppose to give Angel salvation Bible Study before prayer meeting. But apparently, Hexing left his file which contains the notes with his friend, so we couldn't give. Then, we had prayer meeting at Riverwalk with Pastor Zhuang. It was awesome..! I felt as if it was on the day of Pantacost and we were in the upper room. The presence of God was undeniable. Time passed so fast. I thought an hour passed but 2 hours flew. It was just amazing. And i feel an unsatisfaction in my spirit. I just want to know God even more. I want to see myself experiencing a revival. I want to see my Connect Group experiencing a revival!! I really believe that a new wave of revival is coming into E308. And i want to be ready went it comes.
I struggled out of bed today. Was feeling really tired. But i managed to drag myself out. Headed off to work and i immediately played Sun's CD in case i feel like putting my head through the wall. After 5 minutes in the shop, she really drove me crazy again. I don't know how to tell you what she did to make me angry. But at that moment, i just know it. Anyway, to cool myself down, i walked the opposite direction of where she is and started to sing along. Then, an angel walked pass my shop. Charmaine(Lun)!!!! She saved the auntie's life. Haha. If not i would have "stanggled" her. So anyway, she came here to meet a client. We shared a few words before she headed back to her office. She made my day. But, nevertheless, the auntie still made me really upset. Went she went out of the shop to go for a walk, i thought i could cool down. But suddenly, i had a serious chest pain. I could barely breathe. And i almost fainted. All i could do was to sit at the counter and grasp for air.It was a horrible feeling. Then, finally, work's over. And here i am. Feeling hungry now. Very hungry! But i'm still trying to do things so i can relax. I'm not exactly very good with stress management (obviously). And tomorrow i still got to work! Morning shift some more! I can't work for work to be over. Then i can meet Jo, Hexing and Seekiang! That is my only motivation to get me throught the day of work. Haha. Told my boss i wanted to quit on Monday. But she didn't want/allow me to. Haha. I feel so valuable. Anyway, i guess i will be working for quite some time since that's the case.
All right, enough of trying to think of what to blog about. I hope that this is long enough. I'm going back to watching shows on Youtube. :)
I almost went "crazy" at work on Monday. The auntie i'm working with is drving me insant! I felt like putting my head throught the wall! But really thank God i did not explode in front of her. I was having an inner explosion! Anyway, you think that's bad? Something even worse happened. There was something wrong with the NETS machine and in the end my costomer did not pay a cent for the dress she bought i now i have to pay $50 for her. Am i generous or what? Gosh! $50 gone just like that (snap!). Heart very pain.
Yesterday, was suppose to give Angel salvation Bible Study before prayer meeting. But apparently, Hexing left his file which contains the notes with his friend, so we couldn't give. Then, we had prayer meeting at Riverwalk with Pastor Zhuang. It was awesome..! I felt as if it was on the day of Pantacost and we were in the upper room. The presence of God was undeniable. Time passed so fast. I thought an hour passed but 2 hours flew. It was just amazing. And i feel an unsatisfaction in my spirit. I just want to know God even more. I want to see myself experiencing a revival. I want to see my Connect Group experiencing a revival!! I really believe that a new wave of revival is coming into E308. And i want to be ready went it comes.
I struggled out of bed today. Was feeling really tired. But i managed to drag myself out. Headed off to work and i immediately played Sun's CD in case i feel like putting my head through the wall. After 5 minutes in the shop, she really drove me crazy again. I don't know how to tell you what she did to make me angry. But at that moment, i just know it. Anyway, to cool myself down, i walked the opposite direction of where she is and started to sing along. Then, an angel walked pass my shop. Charmaine(Lun)!!!! She saved the auntie's life. Haha. If not i would have "stanggled" her. So anyway, she came here to meet a client. We shared a few words before she headed back to her office. She made my day. But, nevertheless, the auntie still made me really upset. Went she went out of the shop to go for a walk, i thought i could cool down. But suddenly, i had a serious chest pain. I could barely breathe. And i almost fainted. All i could do was to sit at the counter and grasp for air.It was a horrible feeling. Then, finally, work's over. And here i am. Feeling hungry now. Very hungry! But i'm still trying to do things so i can relax. I'm not exactly very good with stress management (obviously). And tomorrow i still got to work! Morning shift some more! I can't work for work to be over. Then i can meet Jo, Hexing and Seekiang! That is my only motivation to get me throught the day of work. Haha. Told my boss i wanted to quit on Monday. But she didn't want/allow me to. Haha. I feel so valuable. Anyway, i guess i will be working for quite some time since that's the case.
All right, enough of trying to think of what to blog about. I hope that this is long enough. I'm going back to watching shows on Youtube. :)
Friday, April 11, 2008
Something Different.
Today was quite all right. I woke up early to see the doctor today. Last night i was so scared that i would have gotten HFMD. When i went to the doctor, he said it's just that my skin is kind of dry and my ulcer is guess the usual visitor in my mouth. My heart could beat normally again! After that, Jo told me the symstoms of HFMD. I felt like a total fool! I scared myself for nothing. Next time, i should consult Jo first. Haha!
I went to the VCD shop to help my tuition teacher rent some shows. But the shows she wanted wasn't available. So i thought to myself that since i'm already there, i mind as well rent 1 or 2 to watch since i'm free to watch in the day. Anyway, i managed to finish watching the 2 VCDs i rented before my tuition teacher reached my house. Time passed very fast today during the tuition.
So, anyway, after tuition, was suppose to go down to Marina Square to meet Hexing, Abigail and Marvin. In the end, only managed to meet Hexing. So pathetic. Haha! We went to walk around first before having our dinner at Hong Kong Cafe! As usual, i ate my favourite, Black Pepper Beef Baked Rice and Ice Milked Tea. Yummy...!! I personally enjoyed myself during dinner. After that, we continued to walk around. At around 10pm, we went to visit Suzy! We sat in the library and chatted. Had a great time. Soon, Suzy went back to her work and we decided to wait for her so that we can go back together. Well, more like Hexing can accompany her home. Well, anyway, we waited till around 11.15pm. Thank God there was still train. If not... Sigh.. As a result, i just reached home not long ago. Well, at least tonight i can sleep later since tomorrow i've got no work and nothing on till later in the night for prayer meeting. Can have a good rest tomorrow. I was thinking of going for a walk again tomorrow. Today most of the shops were close went we went to walk around. So sad.
I'm going to re-watch the shows i rented again. Haha! See ya!
I went to the VCD shop to help my tuition teacher rent some shows. But the shows she wanted wasn't available. So i thought to myself that since i'm already there, i mind as well rent 1 or 2 to watch since i'm free to watch in the day. Anyway, i managed to finish watching the 2 VCDs i rented before my tuition teacher reached my house. Time passed very fast today during the tuition.
So, anyway, after tuition, was suppose to go down to Marina Square to meet Hexing, Abigail and Marvin. In the end, only managed to meet Hexing. So pathetic. Haha! We went to walk around first before having our dinner at Hong Kong Cafe! As usual, i ate my favourite, Black Pepper Beef Baked Rice and Ice Milked Tea. Yummy...!! I personally enjoyed myself during dinner. After that, we continued to walk around. At around 10pm, we went to visit Suzy! We sat in the library and chatted. Had a great time. Soon, Suzy went back to her work and we decided to wait for her so that we can go back together. Well, more like Hexing can accompany her home. Well, anyway, we waited till around 11.15pm. Thank God there was still train. If not... Sigh.. As a result, i just reached home not long ago. Well, at least tonight i can sleep later since tomorrow i've got no work and nothing on till later in the night for prayer meeting. Can have a good rest tomorrow. I was thinking of going for a walk again tomorrow. Today most of the shops were close went we went to walk around. So sad.
I'm going to re-watch the shows i rented again. Haha! See ya!
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Want To Serve Again.
Yesterday, while i was about to shower, i just had this desire to serve God in a ministry again. So i immediately SMS-ed Suzy and Yufen that i want to go back to Choir again. And i also told Hexing about it. So i'm really excited- for the serving part. For the audition, i'm really nervous. Never liked auditions. I always get very nervous and i will eventually embarrass myself. But anyway, i'm excited about it. I guess i lost my vision of always wanting to be a singer in future. I got it back when i was walking with Jo outside Supreme Court when the both of us were sharing on what are our top 3 "want-to-be careers". And i was reminded that my biggest dream was to be a singer. I've always wanted to be one ever since i was young. Although i don't have a fantastic voice,but, that's what i enjoy doing. I can't imagine myself working in a shop or a classroom for the rest of my life. I want to do something i enjoy, like singing and acting. Through this walk i had with Jo, i want to start all over again to walk towards my dream. Even if it doesn't come true, at least i won't live my life wondering what would have happened. I believe that through choir, i can not only build up my voice but also learn to worship God. I may not be smart or talented. But i believe that God can use my weakness and turn it into my strengths, God can use whatever i have. At the same time, my desire now is to be a CGL too. So, learning to sing would be a great help also. I can do both!! I love it! Haha.
Having a bad migrain again. It's coming back. Oh no!! Please pray for me. I woke up today with bad stomach cramps. Felt really weak too. But i'm feeling much better now. Just that my head hurts really badly. I pray that i'll be healed by tomorrow cause i've got work. Can't work when my head hurts. I also hope that i'll get my pay by tomorrow. I'm really broke already.
I want to start saving money again. Realised that i've been spending too much money on food!! And i guess everytime i go out i just tend to spend all my money on food and nothing but food. I want to begin to save money and at the end of every month get a new top or bottom to groom myself. I don't want to crack my brain every Saturday night thinking of what to wear again for service. So, from today onwards, i want to eat less and shop more!! Haha. A bit hard but i'm going to try. Besides, i'm putting on weight already. Cannot afford to put on anymore. told myself that i don't want to end up looking like my parents! Haha. So mean right? But it's true. I don't believe that's in the blood. I can break this curse! Haha. Oh my.. Does this mean i have to start exercising again? Okay then, i will! When am i free this week? Thursday morning i shall go for a jog before my tuition. Yes, i will!
I think this is one of the longest post ever. Hopefully i'll be able to have this kind of inspiration whenever i blog. Till the next time, BYE!
Having a bad migrain again. It's coming back. Oh no!! Please pray for me. I woke up today with bad stomach cramps. Felt really weak too. But i'm feeling much better now. Just that my head hurts really badly. I pray that i'll be healed by tomorrow cause i've got work. Can't work when my head hurts. I also hope that i'll get my pay by tomorrow. I'm really broke already.
I want to start saving money again. Realised that i've been spending too much money on food!! And i guess everytime i go out i just tend to spend all my money on food and nothing but food. I want to begin to save money and at the end of every month get a new top or bottom to groom myself. I don't want to crack my brain every Saturday night thinking of what to wear again for service. So, from today onwards, i want to eat less and shop more!! Haha. A bit hard but i'm going to try. Besides, i'm putting on weight already. Cannot afford to put on anymore. told myself that i don't want to end up looking like my parents! Haha. So mean right? But it's true. I don't believe that's in the blood. I can break this curse! Haha. Oh my.. Does this mean i have to start exercising again? Okay then, i will! When am i free this week? Thursday morning i shall go for a jog before my tuition. Yes, i will!
I think this is one of the longest post ever. Hopefully i'll be able to have this kind of inspiration whenever i blog. Till the next time, BYE!
Some Events..
Here are some photos.
Our Explosive Sentosa 2 weeks ago.
After service, we went to Esplanade to fellowship. Had a great time there.
It was sure a great Sunday. Although by the end of the night i was super tired, it was all worth it. Well, i think i throw my face like crazy also. Ahh.. Who cares.. Actually, i do. But what to do? Haha
Our Explosive Sentosa 2 weeks ago.
After service, we went to Esplanade to fellowship. Had a great time there.
It was sure a great Sunday. Although by the end of the night i was super tired, it was all worth it. Well, i think i throw my face like crazy also. Ahh.. Who cares.. Actually, i do. But what to do? Haha
Friday, April 4, 2008
Despite of..
The past week was really tough for me. After getting the result that my application to RP wasn't successful, i sunk into "depression". Honestly, i was really sad. I didn't want to do anything. I know that there are so many mistakes i did. But there is one choice that i cannot get wrong and that is i can choose to be happy inspite of the the bad situations i'm going through. I have got no idea what is going to happen next. However, everyday i have to make the choice to be happy. Even if i'm placed into a circumstance which causes me to be upset or even depressed, i just got to tell myself that i can choose to be happy. Many times, i used to take advantage of problems and give the excuse of my depression. But, everyone has the choice to choose to be happy. A person who feels lonely has only one thought and that is nobody cares for him. However, he does not choose to accept that the truth is that there are people who really care. While i was in the shower, i told God that whatever it is, i just want to be the best i can to bring glory to Him. I know i'm not smart or talented, but i'm willing.
Well, i've got work tomorrow. It's going to be an exciting day because after work i have to fly over to Suntec office for Prayer Meeting! I pray that God will send me an angel to drive me out of the "ooo loo" workplace. And i pray that i will really be able to get my pay cheque by tomorrow!! I'm in need of money. I don't want to live in lack anymore. I want to walk in adundance. There's so many things i want to do! Haha.. I pray for a pay rise! Amen!
Well, i have to go sleep now too. If not i'll look like a zombie tomorrow! Haha..
Well, i've got work tomorrow. It's going to be an exciting day because after work i have to fly over to Suntec office for Prayer Meeting! I pray that God will send me an angel to drive me out of the "ooo loo" workplace. And i pray that i will really be able to get my pay cheque by tomorrow!! I'm in need of money. I don't want to live in lack anymore. I want to walk in adundance. There's so many things i want to do! Haha.. I pray for a pay rise! Amen!
Well, i have to go sleep now too. If not i'll look like a zombie tomorrow! Haha..
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
what am i suppose to do now?
Decided to blog a bit before i leave house for work. this week will be my last week working. Decided to quit. Not because i don't want to work. But i realised that the past few week i've been calling up the members just to get updates instead of really talking to them. I don't want to do that. I want to know them more. But time is so tight. And i'm really tired now.
I cried while showering just now. Just found myself making the same mistakes again and again. And i never learnt. Now i've got no school to go to. I've made so many wrong decisions that i can't change now. I never thought things would be so tough...
I cried while showering just now. Just found myself making the same mistakes again and again. And i never learnt. Now i've got no school to go to. I've made so many wrong decisions that i can't change now. I never thought things would be so tough...
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
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