I can't sleep. Just too many thoughts are running through my mind. I don't know where to start.
I've been sharing room with my brother for the past 15 years, ever since he was born. But i felt that there was never one moment i was a sister to him. I love my brother very much. Maybe i was too protective. I used to beat up those people who bullied him. I didn't care what the concequences was. It was my fault that i created a violent environment for him to grow up in. I would do things that was against the school rules just so he would get what he wanted. Knowing that i only have one brother, i just wanted the best for him. But, i guess, i just couldn't give him the best. I didn't expect things to turn out this way. I used to blamed my parents for my stupidity. I always wished that they were like other parents, having plans for their kids' future. But there's now no one for me to blame but myself for the state i'm in. Seeing my brother going down this road is breaking my heart. Cause i don't want him to end up like me. It's tearing up my heart to see my family this way. I was supposed to help my ex-boss to take some photos tomorrow. Thought i could go earn some money. But i decided to go down to my brother's school with my dad tomorrow. Hopefully, i'll be able to save my brother from the punishment he'll be getting.
Had chest pains again today. Guess i collapsed again, cause i found myself lying half on the bed. Suppose i was just rather stressed and troubled over my studies.
God, save me! Nothing is impossible for You.. Help me!
