Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Art?

You Are Pop Art
When it comes to art, you're definitely not a snob. You can appreciate the mainstream aspects of culture, even if you need to twist them a bit to make them your own. Whether you're into comics, retro pinups, or bold colors, you embrace what's eye catching and simple. As far as most other art goes, you consider it a little too elitist and high brow for your tastes!

Fav Colour?

What Your Favorite Color Pink Says About You:
Blissful --- Content --- Romantic Idealistic --- Expressive --- Artistic Funny --- Quirky --- Individualistic

Victoria's Secret Angel?

You Are Most Like Tyra Banks
Totally smokin' with tons of attitude

FRiend?

You Are a Good Friend Because You're Loyal
You stick with your friends no matter what, even if you feel like they're doing the wrong thing. You believe in letting people figure out their own path in life. It's not your place to interfere. And part of your loyalty means that you'll do a lot for your friends. You definitely go the extra mile. You'll even do great things for friends without them asking. After all, that's what friendship is all about. You are truly a friend for life. And you have friends you've known since you were a kid. Your friends can count on you to do a favor, remember a birthday, or just be there to listen. Your friends need you most when: They can't turn to anyone else You really can't be friends with: Fickle people who change friends quickly Your friendship quote: "Friendship doubles your joys, and divides your sorrows."

What band am I?

You Should Be In Atomic Kitten
Cute and stylish - you're the perfect little pop package. Oh, and you can sing a little too :-)

LA or NY?

You Belong in LA
Forget living in a dirty, cold city - you'll take the beach instead.Celebrity sightings, trendy restaurants, and clubbing all night are more your thing.And who knows? You might become the next beautiful person the paparazzi stalks!
Are You an LA Girl or a NY Girl?

Ice Cream Me..

You Are A Chocolate Ice Cream Girl
Dramatic. Powerful. Flirty.

Are You Hot?

You Are Super Spicy
You're a little bit crazy, a little bit naughty, and a whole lot of sexy.You go beyond hot - you set people's senses on fire!
Are You Hot?

Sister?

Your Celebrity Style Twin is Nicole Richie
The perfect blend of uptown and downtown.

X-Men??

You Are Jean Grey
Although your fate is often unknown, you always seem to survive (even after death). Your mind is your greatest weapon, literally! Powers: telepathy and telekinesis, the ability to project thoughts into the mind of others, communication with animals

Pop Princess??

Your Inner Pop Princess Is Jessica Simpson
"The real me used to laugh all night Lying in the grass, just talkin 'bout love. But lately I've been jaded, Life got so complicated." You have an innocent charm that appeals to guys and girls.

Eye Colour

Your Inner Eye Color Is Blue
You've got the personality of a blue eyed women You're intense and expressive - and always on the go You've also got a sweet, playful side - which draws men in

Chemistry Paper..

Today's my first paper, Chemistry. Studied till late in the night yesterday and woke up early to study today as well. But when i saw the paper, i put too much stress on myself and became so nervous that i forgot everything. Whatever i studied didn't come out much. I walked home cry and i continue even when i was showering and went i took a walk after that. Whether i do well, it's also depending on this paper. I can't possibly score full marks for Physics. And.. I already feel like giving up because i've flung this paper and it doesn't seem to matter even if i study so hard for the rest. What difference will it make? I wondered to myself whether i was born a failure. All my life, no matter how hard i work, i still fail. That's why i've given up long ago until i decided to work hard again. And this have to happen. I'm not asking much. I just want to get through secondary school and get into a poly. And why can't i do that?!! I hate myself for not having a brain. And now the tall buildings are temptations to me. I really don't know what to do with myself. What do i have to do just so to do well? I've studied the shit out of me. And still i can't do well. Ahhhh!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, October 21, 2007

no one around..

I just came home from the park. Couldn't stand staying at home facing my books. So decided to go for a walk. I didn't know who to call. Needed someone to chat with but somehow no one came to my mind. I guess i rather not also. When it come to certain issues, i rather not say. Cause the people i share with usually makes me feel worse when i thought they would help me feel more relief. So.. Oh well. Haven't eaten the whole day. I'm really hungry. But no appetite.. Sigh.. Oh well. I going crazy just by staying at home....

GOODies from JASMINE

Oh my! I didn't sleep te whole night. I laid on my bed playing 'Snake' on my hadphone. Not because i was addicted to the game but it's because i couldn't sleep and i played that to make myself tired. Apparently, i became very very tired but still, i failed to get some sleep. So, i went for service without any sleep. It's like the worse mistake anyone can make. But, i managed to stay very awake. Right from the start of the service, from the first praise song to the last song of the service, i was in tears. I felt something break in my spirit. I know and i know that my breakthrough is here! Thank you Jesus!
Before service today, Jasmine gave me a bag containing....
Some of my favourite snacks!! But the thing that touched my heart was...
It's a little diary Jasmine made telling me somethings that took place during her week. Although it was about many events in hr life, it touched me because of what she said to me. I never thought she would say those words. Haha. Well, i won't say here. It's our "qiao qiao hua". Hee!
I actually didn't want to talk to her today. Because she "ignored" me the whole week!! But now i know why. It was such a torturous week. It for this surprise. I always tell myself don't give in (as in the play play direction). But i always fail to. I can't help it. This time, i was deeply touched by what she did. Anyway, as i lay on my bed last night, i was actually thinking about my friendship with her. I wondered why i would do so much for someone, willing to put her needs before mine and do whatever i can when she ask. To my realisation, unknowingly, she has already become a part of me. Not to "that extent".. But more of a sister kind of relationship. And i know that i will not be able to treat anyone else the was i treat her. Although there were ups and down in our friendship, she never failed to be patient with me. I wouldn't eschange this friendship with anything else.
To Jas: Thank you for your surprise today. I never expected it.. I can't and don't want to imagine what my life would be without you. You brought in the sunshine into my world. And throughout the past few years knowing you, i learnt a lot of things and one of which is that no matter what kind of circumstances i face, i have the choice to be happy. Yes, it's hard and painful but you showed me that i can still have joy. Without this revelation, i guess i would have continue wlking down my life mourning over each problem. Once again, THANK YOU, JASMINE!!! :)

Saturday, October 20, 2007

aLonee..

I'm not sure how to express how i'm feeling now. So i'll let Tyra Banks to express. Although it's not exactly how i feel, It's the closest i can get.

I slept at 4am. Couldn't sleep so decided to study a little bit of Chemistry. I finally got tired at about 4am so went to sleep. Each night seems harder for me to sleep. Got to break free from this series of nightmares man!

For the first time, the feeling of "can't wait for the weekends to be over" is in me. Seriously, i really can't wait for the weekends to be over. I somehow don't seem to be looking forward to it..

Friday, October 19, 2007

Didn't study at all today. I woke up really late. I actually woke up at 1pm. Then i went back to sleep and woke up at 5pm. Don't know why.. I just don't feel like doing anything but lying in bed. My mind seems to be drained away by everything like my studies and the nightmares i'm getting. And also, now havig a lot of thoughts going through my mind. Friendships, studies and so on.. I'm just so so tired....

Thursday, October 18, 2007

another huanting terror

Had my O Levels Science practical exam this morning. When i saw the apparatus, i got a shock cause we've never practise that topic before. Anyway, Physics wasn't as bad as i though actually. Chemistry was almost a disaster. But i guess this is the best practical i've done so far. So, i'm proud of it. Hopefull the rest of my papers will be just as good. Came home and was feeling really tired already. Not sure why either. I tried sleeping early last night but still ended up sleeping at 1am. So much for my efforts. Well, i managed to sleep anyway. Thought i would've woken up late for mu practical but i was awaken but my mum and brother's arguement on whether i needed to go to school. Haha. Thank God. If not i guess i would not even wake up. I took a nap when i came home. I had another terrorising dream. I dreamt that a girl commited suicide by jumping off a building because of studies pressure. I slept for abt 3 hours and that was all i dreamt about. It was scarier than it seems to be when i say. The girl seem so familiar.. But anyway, I'm just traumatized by the load of terrorizing dreams i'm getting. God, help me forget them..

Monday, October 15, 2007

haunting nightmare.

I've been getting nightmares the past 2 nights. They've been haunting me since. On saturday night, i had a dream about a murder case. The people in it were people who i knew. But the most haunting one is last night's. I dreamt the a friend was possessed and death case started to occur. I don't want to enter it in because i don't want to have this as a memory. But all i can now is to pray. The nightmare is overwhelming me and i can't seem to focus when i study. Even right now, the dream is haunting me. The scenes keep flashing in my head.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

enCOURAGEd

It was a great weekend. Today, i was so impacted by service. I am not going to allow reality to limit my future. I jusr=t cannot put into words the impact today's message left me. But it was definitely great to enter into God's presence.

Was just chatting with Charmaine Lun. I feel so encouraged by just having a casual chat with her. She's also rushing through her assignments and meeting deadlines. But somehow i felt thay the conversation we had was more than what i usually will talk to her about. Afterall, she's one leader that i respect a lot and inspired by. But the conversation felt more like a friend to friend. And it was just great. Miss her a lot actually.

I've got to go back to studying already. Exams are really near now. Chiong!!!

Saturday, October 13, 2007

waLked fRom AMK Hub to Yio Chu Kang Rd

I'm am SO SO tired! Yesterday, After CGM, we left Samuel's house at around 11pm plus. Went AMK to eat. Ate till around 2am. Suzy ored too much Indian rojak so we played number game. Junhui was around and it's his birthday after midnight. So we also celebrated for him. Anyway, we were playing number game. So the were mixing all the sauces together with soup, teh peng, coke light and vineger which Jasmine took from the shop like it was for free. Suzy, Jasmine and i had an open heaven. We didn't lose. But the rest decide to 'sa bo' Suzy. And she finally lost. Haha. Should have seen her face! So funny. Haha. hexing kept cursing Jasmine. And in the end she also lost. Then, hexin kept cursing me also. But the last game i also never lose. My dear Jasmine lost. Haha. I win!!! Anyway. after that, we didn't know what to do. So we decided to walk back to Tampines. Before starting our adventure, we went to the toilet. We walked one round after coming out and we ended up where we started. I went crazy!!! I was already so tired! Anyway, we still ontinued walking. LONG story. To end it off, we walked on TPE till Yio Chu Kang Rd exit. We then took a cab. Me and Jasmine alighted at her house and from there i walked home. Reached home at 4.15am. I fell flat on my bed and slept till 1pm. Woke up, ate, studied for 1 hour and slept again. Woke up at 6pm to eat. Ate pizza. And then, here i am now. Haha.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

song reason

That song is written by me. I wrote it for SUN. It's called 'My All'

for SUN

Verse 1

It's so different when you're gone

Even when you never left my thoughts

I still wonder why i need you so badly

Had to turn around one more time

People asked me why i go crazy

Why i just can't wait to be there with you

It's hard to explain

Because words alone cannot express

Chorus

You brought in the sunshine into my life

Never knew that i would be alright

Until you stepped into my world

And now i'm addicted to you

Got me coming back for more

You have become my all

Verse 2

My world is complete with you here

Wanna hold on and never let go

All of my troubles and worries fade away

When i close my eyes in your arms

No one understands why i love you

And why i'll go to the ends of the earth

Just to get to you

Want to make another memory

Bridge

When i close my eyes

You are all i see

Whispers of your voice

Echoing in my ears

You clear the dark sky

And painted your love on the rainbow

thinking of SUN

It's close to 1am in the morning and i'm still awake. Can't get to sleep. Almost lost my temper just now. But thank God i managed to control. If not it'll be really bad. SIGH. Don't know why i get angry very fast today. Guess i'm just tired enough already.
Kept thinking of SUN. Wrote her a song in school today. Can't post it here cause there's something wrong with the paragraphing. So i put it on Friendster already. Wrote 2 new songs so far. 1 for Sun and 1 for Jasmine. The 2 most important people in my life. They may not feel the same or even know it. But it doesn't matter. I guess the reason why i'm able to write for them is because they've impacted me a lot. At least more. And it's hard to breathe without them.
There's so many negative thoughts that are entering my mind now!! Gosh!

Sunday, October 7, 2007

("v") SUN

I can't express how HAPPY i am right now. It has been such an awesome weekend.

Yesterday, went Changi Airport. Met Jasmine, He Xing and Jaden. We went to Popeyes to have our lunch. After that, we went to Pacific Cafe to study. After studying for about 3 hours, we went down for service. We were late! Haha. So near yet so far. Service yesterday was awesome. Pastor has new visions for the church. And i had a new vision for myself and that is to really be someone that God can use. I was reminded by one of my encounters with God during worship yesterday during service. There was one time when i was doing my Quiet Time and i was crying our to God. I said that i felt really hopeless cause many people say that i can never be someone great and that i'm useless. But God said that even if people say that i'm useless, He will make the full use of me. As i recall that encounter i had, i teared. Because i've always wanted to be a singer since young and even the people closest to me which are my family members put me down. After what God has spoke to me, nothing else that people doesn't matter anymore. I am a person pf great destiny! AMEN!

Again, today, went for service. Although i was tired, i just want the experience God again. Sun was at the service as well. After service, Suzy, Yufen, Joanne, Slyvia and i went New York New York to have our lunch. That was my first meal of the day and sadly my last meal as well. We then took a shatter bus down to Great World City to see Sun. WOW WOW WOW!!! I not only managed to take a photo with her and hugged her but also had a pretty long conversations with her. It feels as if all my troubles are blown away just by standing beside her. She was carrying a lot of things and i helped her to adjust the top properly on the hanger she was holding on to! She was really busy. As she working, she was also bare-footed. He feet seem so swollened after wearng her heels, So we got a a pair of slippers so that it will protect her feet. When presenting to her the slipper, we had another conversation. We hanged around in the shop for very long. The pastors were there and when Pastor Kong walked passed me and Yufen, he said,"sorry, girls!" he wanted to walk through. So gentleman!! And SUN, I'M SO SO SO SO PROUD OF YOU!!!

Thursday, October 4, 2007

it has been so long since i last blogged

It has really been quite some time since i last blogged. Reason being i dismentaled my computer so that i can focus more on my studies. However, i'm back because i need to do some stuff online so i fixed back my computer.

Many things has happened since. It has been amazing. Well, i can't really remember everything that has happened. But on Tuesday, went to the hospital to visit Chermaine with Suzy and Jasmine. Left after some time. Suzy went for leader's meeting so Jasmine and i we went Organic Cafe for dinner. Jasmine's treat. (Thanks Jas! Hope you like the song i wrote for you.) Was great!

Anyway, i've been really tired by school alone. Longs days in school has already drained all my energy. Haven't been studying as much as i should the past few days. My body is just to weak already. But my inner-man can be refreshed! AMEN!

I've been struggling mentally as well. Not that i'm going crazy but more of sad, sad. Studies wise and personal. But feeling so much better now though. Wow.. The weekends are drawing near. So HAPPY!